Successful Parent - There are many things that come to mind when you think of rearing and raising a child to adulthood.
As parents we all desire for our children to become successful contributing members of society.
The flip side of this desire is that unfortunately many parents do not succeed in this desire. In many cases it's not centered on money or the lack of major finances.
The following principles of successful parenting have nothing to do with the "freedom of choice" your child will exercise as he or she becomes of age.
What these keys will do is allow your child to be secure in their decision making.
Ultimately these keys will allow them to become their own person and not just a mere rendition of you.
The three keys to being a successful parent come down to:
Validation is at the top of the list because all children want to know that they are here because their parents purposed to make their birth a reality.
This key is reinforced by the actions you take concerning their presence in your life.
You must make the time needed to show your child that they are important to you.
When they excel at anything in life (you) be the first to celebrate with them regardless of how simple the task may be.
When they do well at school make sure to take the time off work and attend the ceremonies at school.
Show them that college is important by consistently saving some amount of money for them and let them know that you have been saving since their birth.
Validation is more about showing through action how important your child is over anything else you can imagine.
Accountability is in the middle of the list because this is the "boundary teacher."
All children welcome boundaries because it gives them a measuring point to know where not to go in their decision making.
As a successful parent you must fully explain the rules, regulations, and guidelines along with the consequences for each violation if not followed.
The areas that most parents seem to go wrong in is making sure your child understands by having them repeat back to you exactly what was said and what is expected.
Why must you do this, you ask?
This step is crucially important because you will be utterly surprised at how the information that you, so poignantly stated, gets lost in translation in a child's mind.
This symptom I refer to as "I thought you meant this, when you made that statement?"
This step will be priceless when it comes to handing out the consequence action or punishment.
You should always follow through with the consequence action or punishment. This will show consistency for respecting the rules you have laid down.
When their faces change and angry shows up, just remind them that is was their poor choices that put them in that particular predicament.
This step helps them to fully understand why they should fix their facial expressions quickly.
This will also show them that they are attempting to get mad at the wrong person.
Now it's time for the great tension breaker of the big hug or some form of affection.
Make sure to reinforce that you love them and are not mad at them, just disappointed in the particular choice that was made.
Rest assured that this "touchy feely part" will allow them the ability to learn the necessary lessons, without thinking that your love for them is in jeopardy.
Once the consequence actions or punishment has been paid in full, I recommend that you sit down with them and have a quick debriefing, lessons learned type of talk.
Make it into a, "what other choices could you have explored with that particular situation?" conversation.
This will allow them the ability to do a mental redo, on the action that they took, only this time with a successful outcome, which will empower them for the next choice they make.
Appreciation is my last successful parenting key and it's probably not what you are thinking about when it comes to true appreciation?
Parents are often quick to dismiss the acts of appreciation your child will present to you; be it the funny card they drew in school or how they tried to help you wash the car or dishes.
You need to be ever mindful that their lack of proficiency in these tasks should never overshadow their need in wanting to share these tasks with you.
You should show your appreciation by encouraging these tasks whenever the opportunity presents itself.
The key is to focus on their heart, the true motive, for these acts while showing them your appreciation.
This key will solidify, within your child, a lesson of true service for others in a light hearted joyful sense.
When you master these 3 successful parent keys you are guaranteed a child that society will thank you for giving to the world.
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