I will hold the door open for you even if
you do not say "thank you".
I will hold the door open for you even if
Manners are very important in life. You have probably been told this ever since you were a small child.
Your parents and other adults may have frequently reminded you to show good etiquette on special occasions and in your everyday world.
However, you might not know why it is so essential to display good etiquette when the people with whom you are interacting do not show any appreciation to you in return.
The best way to look at it is that your manners are not a reflection on the other person; they are a reflection on you.
When you hold a door open for someone who does not say "thank you," it is not about what he is failing to do, but about what you are doing right.
What you are doing is demonstrating respect for the person and respect for yourself as well.
Sometimes you may be tempted to become discouraged or angry when your manners are not appreciated or acknowledged.
You might even be tempted to think of the other person in a negative way.
The good news is that there is no reason for this, as long as you keep the right perspective on your own actions.
You do not need to focus on the other person's reaction when you are focusing on your own actions.
When you keep in mind that your etiquette is about you, you will be in the best frame of mind.
You can go through life with a wonderful sense of self-respect and pride. You can be proud of yourself, because you will know that the way you treat other people is not based on what the other person may or may not do.
It is not necessary for another person to say or do anything in return when you know that you are doing the right thing.
If you really think about it, what is the purpose of etiquette? When your actions toward others include good manners, it shows that you respect the other person.
It shows that you are considerate of him or her.
It also shows that you respect yourself enough to think of someone else.
None of these positive aspects of good manners need to include acknowledgement or reciprocation from the other person.
Displaying good etiquette toward everyone in your everyday life will bring you nice rewards.
Instead of expecting a reward in terms of a "thank you" or other acknowledgement, you will actually be providing the rewards to yourself.
When you know that you have done something kind and considerate for another person, it will make you feel good about yourself.
You will know that whatever you did had a positive effect on another person, even if the effect was very small.
Your manners may have been helpful to him in some way, or they may have made his day a little brighter.
The good feelings this will give to you about yourself will be pride and self-respect well-earned.
You won't need a "thank you," because the way your etiquette makes you feel is a wonderful reward in itself.
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Please and Thank You will take you places money cannot...
Please and thank you are two of the most powerful words ever created. If you understand their true power there is nothing in the world that can't be accomplished.
Look around at the present state of basic communication skills and you will see how this power that once was, so prevalent has gone untapped by many these days.
You may not have thought of manners as being powerful. The fact is that manners have a much greater impact than you might realize.
The positive power in manners can take you far in life, and help your potential turn into wonderful accomplishments.
If you think of the message you give when you show good etiquette, this is quite easy to understand.
When you are sincere with the use of words like "please" and "thank you," you are showing respect for yourself and respect for the person to whom you are speaking.
This mutual respect in turn shows you as a person of good character.
Second, etiquette presents you as a person who knows that quality interaction with others is important.
Good etiquette skills demonstrate that you are not only thinking about yourself-- you care what the other person thinks and feels.
It is the most excellent way to improve your communications with other people, whether they are in your everyday life or people whom you have just met.
When you demonstrate etiquette on a regular basis, it is also a sign that you know what is right and proper.
It will make your parents proud that you have learned this, and will make your friends glad to be your friends.
In today's world, where many people focus on hurrying to get ahead, your good etiquette will let everyone know that you have taken a few minutes to be considerate.
When you say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" at the right times, it only takes a couple of minutes.
When you have developed the habit of showing good manners in every situation, it will be like second-nature to you.
You will be glad that you have taken this small, extra step when you see how well-received your etiquette are to the people in your everyday life.
While money and other things may help you to get to the door of your dreams, it's the basic consideration of using good etiquette on a regular basis that will help you to reach your highest potential.
You can accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.
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Return from Manners to Parenting Article
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Photos courtesy of artist Anthony K. Wilson, Sr.